


My love, I am sorry

by jisoopremacist



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I'm a sucker for angsty smut, Smut, maybe also fluff, mild (sorta) smut at the beginning and then angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:59:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisoopremacist/pseuds/jisoopremacist
Summary: In which Jisoo and Rosé can no longer control their desire for each other, but are forever forbidden from being together.“I’m sorry, but I can’t love you.”“I see…”But I…almost…felt something for you.“It’s all right. It’s merely that everyone wants something they can’t have.”





	My love, I am sorry

**Author's Note:**

> It’s my first ever fanfic (hooray!) and I dedicate it to my fellow Jisoo and Rosé stans.

～✻  _[Odi et amo. Fieri sentio et excrucior.](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Translation:Catullus_85) _ ✻～

Jisoo could not tell when that precise moment was, but she keenly felt the roaring desire inside of her body growing more and more uncontrollable, when Rosé uncaringly flipped her hair, and only a tuft of it casually brushed Jisoo’s shoulder. She gazed into Rosé’s diaphanous pupils, gleaming with cryptic tranquility, and totteringly stepped close.

Rosé felt a puff of steaming breath against her cheeks, and, as if she had foreseen it all when Jisoo invited her to her house, she blushed, lowered her eyes, and only whispered “Jisoo unnie” before closing her eyes completely. She felt Jisoo’s fiery lips pressed against hers, and their breaths grew arrhythmic. Only for a split second it felt like a cozy marshmallow, but instantly it turned into a soggy flame. Rosé let out a weak moan, wrapping her arms around Jisoo’s neck, and Jisoo immediately entered into her mouth and began ravaging her tongue.

_Why has it taken you so long?_ She still wanted to silently blame Jisoo, and be a little petulant. _But you’re finally here…_ And since Jisoo’s hands were at last caressing every curve of her body, in a way so tender and yet so fervent as she could ever had dreamed of, she fell soft and gave up every last attempt to affect resistance.

Shedded clothes left a cluttered trail on the floor from the living room leading to the bedroom, and each girl slammed the other onto the bed. Jisoo flipped Rosé around and left her supine, and Rosé complied, without words but only a faint moan, and perceived Jisoo’s intense stare straight back into her eyes as she sank to her knees.

_Do you…love me?_

Her entire body quivered with thrill when Jisoo’s tongue invaded her intimate spots in wanton movements. Rosé closed her eyes, both hands reaching out and trying to squeeze Jisoo’s head inward, and screamed and jerked as she climbed toward the apex of all supreme pleasure. Her brain had long stopped thinking about anything other than the purest of all pleasure coursing through her bones nonstop, but for an instant she wondered, if this is paradise on earth?

_In the wildest dreams of mine, the side of a maiden which would render even the succubi agape…I shall show it to you, and to you only._

“Uh…uh…uh ah ah!”

Without warning Jisoo gave Rosé’s petite pearl a violent strike, and slowly rose up, her entire lower face covered in gelatinous liquid. She looked down at the disrobed girl lying in bed with glazed eyes and roseate cheeks, short of breath and panting faintly, and smirked proudly at such an exquisite sight.

“I want you to scream my name.”

Rosé’s eyes blurred for a moment, but seemingly out of nowhere suddenly there was a phallus-shaped object held in Jisoo’s hands. Rosé gasped at the thing, eyes wide open, and could not help imagining the primordial frenzy that was to ensue, with some fear, but at the same time with an overwhelming, irrepressible thrill. Gratified by Rosé’s reaction as if she had precisely expected it, Jisoo started slipping the rodlike object into Rosé’s folds.

“Uh ah…Jisoo…Jisoo unnie!” Rosé screamed, her lithesome torso bent into an arc as she felt her inside being gradually filled by Jisoo.

“That’s right. Scream it,” Jisoo smirked, fully satisfied by Rosé’s total compliance, and started steadily battering her body.

“Jisoo…Jisoo unnie…unnie…,” Rosé whimpered uncontrollably, her voice and breath so arrhythmic that it felt like she would begin to cry at any moment. Her eyes landed on Jisoo’s face, and caught Jisoo’s eyes deadly fixed upon herself.

_I’ll have you remember, indelibly, how breathtaking I am tonight._

She gazed into Jisoo’s eyes, amid the frantic movements, and, with an unsullied smile, panted, “Jisoo unnie…”

As if Jisoo had felt Rosé’s ardent affection, Jisoo slowed her hand for a moment, and, seemingly obliviously, leaned close to Rosé’s glowing visage. Rosé cupped Jisoo’s face in her hands, her head slightly rising, and brushed Jisoo’s lips against hers. Jisoo felt Rosé’s pillowy lips, sweeter than nectar and smoother than satin, and her hand resumed action, pounding Rosé’s inside with frenetic rhythm.

“Huh…uh…uh…,” Rosé let out a blurred moan, and Jisoo’s sly tongue at once intruded and swirled around her luscious tongue.

“Mmm…hmm…hmm…” Rosé wrapped her arms around Jisoo’s waist, and twitched rhythmically with each stream of electricity that came with Jisoo’s each pounding, pounding Jisoo’s torso with each twitch.

_Set us free from all inhibitions, and bury every grief, every rage, every sorrow, every dismay. Let us merely indulge in the pure, elevating, and unbridled passion._

A sudden glaring light through the dark sky, the half-repressed moan quickly rose an octave, and, just before the ultimate euphoria, dazzlingly white stars so bright and so radiant as to become polychromatic fleeted through Rosé’s brain, so fast and so evanescent as if meteors plummeting near light speed. Jisoo was involuntarily taken aback by Rosé’s astounding screech, until, slowly and steadily, each expression of delight, pleasure, gratification, and utter exhaustion took turn upon Rosé’s countenance, and the house at last recovered its prior nocturnal serenity.

“Jisoo unnie…”

Was the syrupy moisture on her face sweat or tears? Rosé had no recollection, but only held the girl above’s beautiful face brimming with complacency, and closed her eyes in equanimity.

But…what was wrong?

Rosé opened her eyes again, and caught Jisoo’s face, a moment ago so smug that she should slap her if she were not the one who drove her insane, but now seeming mildly yet acutely melancholy.

“…Why?” She implored, helpless at what Jisoo might reply.

Jisoo turned around and lay down on the bed beside Rosé, face straight up toward the ceiling, and said quietly, “From tomorrow we should act as though it had not happened.”

Rosé’s heart sank a bit.

_But you feel it, too, don’t you._

Jisoo pulled out one of her pajamas for Rosé, and could not help but notice how unexpectedly lovely she looked in it. As her eyes pulled up and met Rosé’s stare, she felt a flush of ineffable emotions down her spine.

“You feel it, too, don’t you,” Rosé whispered, each syllable quietly but clearly articulated.

Jisoo trembled at Rosé’s words, opened her mouth as if trying to come up with a reply, but could not speak. She retracted her eyes from Rosé, but nonetheless still keenly felt her fervid stare.

“I know your feeling,” Rosé continued, looking intently at Jisoo, but Jisoo’s eyes were flinching. “I saw it. I saw it through your eyes. Everything is in them,” her voice became a bit flustered, “You’re not that good an actress. I know it.”

“I’m sorry… We just—”

“Because I love you!” Rosé’s voice suddenly swelled, her body shaking, but whether from the earlier intense climactic activity or from being overwhelmed by the acute affection she could not tell.

_I love you… I feel it, and I hurt._

“I love you, unnie,” her voice dropped lower, and she looked up at Jisoo, as if pleading, “Let’s be together, all right?”

At last, the promise had been made.

_I said it. I said it now. Please…_

“No! I’m sorry…but I just can’t…I can’t love you. We can’t love each other. You know we can’t.”

Was time frozen? Rosé could not count how many seconds had elapsed before she murmured the words “I see” in a voice so faint, so gentle that no one would have heard her had Jisoo not been so close to her, attending to her so intently, that every single movement of hers could not escape her eyes. Jisoo gazed into Rosé’s crystal orbs, so deep, so far, that she could peruse every single bit of her churning emotions.

_So is this how we shall live the rest of our lives…knowing, painfully, that we love each other but can’t be together?_

“I’m sorry…” Jisoo lowered her head. Under the shadow of her bangs what expression had prevailed? Rosé could not, and dared not, see for herself.

_Oh…_

Who said, that any words will become genuine after being uttered three times?

As if summoning up every single trace of her spirit, tremblingly she opened her mouth.

“It’s all right. Don’t you worry. I’m not hurt. I’m not that frail. It’s merely that everyone wants something they can’t have.”

Why was there a tremor in her voice, sudden and distinct, and why did she hear something deep down inside shattering into pieces? Her heart pulsed, her eyes swelled, her nose twinged, and everything seemed as if she just wanted to throw herself into Jisoo’s arms and sob and weep and vow to her, that she didn’t care about the rules, the prohibitions, the bans, that she didn’t want the fame, the wealth, everything, and just wished to love her and be together with her for the rest of her life.

But she simply could not… All these years the hopes and strivings of traipsing through this tumultuous town simply could not be banished at the mere foot of consummation. She simply could not forget everything.

Jisoo saw an untarnished smile, accompanied by a transparent tear slipping down Rosé’s face, ever so bright and ever so beautiful, yet signifying something so ineffably woeful. She stayed still in a trance, until totteringly Rosé leaned close.

_It should be their last kiss._

Rosé thought thus, closing her eyes, and bore in despair Jisoo’s warmth and firmness that gradually spread through her shivery lips. At last, setting the teardrops free and letting them stream down her cheeks, as if it were the end.

_Only heaven shall know how ardently we have loved each other._

_I’m sorry, that we can’t even have more than one night’s passion._

_I’m sorry, that from tomorrow we’ll again have to pretend to be someone else._

_I’m sorry, that the sweet pledge between lovers has to become the bitter apology between us._

_My love, I am sorry._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~ XP


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